Toothpaste becomes expensive once the ship sails

By John Toth

The Bulletin

I love cruising, but there are some problems that are harder to solve in the middle of the ocean than on dry land.

I wrote a column recently in which I recounted how I forgot to pack my socks for a cruise on the Mariner of the Seas.

Luckily, I stuffed a pair of long dress socks in my carry-on and wore a pair of ankle socks on embarkation day. So, I was sort of covered - better than not having any socks at all.

On the next cruise, Sharon, my cruising editor, was in charge of packing our bathroom things, and I made the mistake of not double checking to make sure she had everything.

We usually check each other like that. It’s a system we have that works great when we actually do it. Unfortunately, Sharon did not do a socks count for me on that earlier cruise.

We boarded Carnival Dream for an eight-nighter to Key West, Florida, and the Bahamas. Embarkation day is also nervous day. I checked a dozen times to see whether I had our passports in the upper outside compartment of my carry-on luggage. It was there each time.

Then, I checked to make sure the parking pass was there and our boarding passes, which I printed out a few days before. They were all there on each check.

I’d rather do this than realize when we arrive at Port of Galveston that I’m missing a document, which could mean we cannot board the ship. The passports are top priority. There is no solution to leaving those on the dining room table - it’s good-bye to cruising.

On the next cruise, I may just take Sharon’s birth certificate and my naturalization document with me as a backup. I don’t have a birth certificate. My mother left it in Hungary when we departed from there rather hurriedly in 1966.

I also try not to show my naturalization document unless I have to, since in the photo I sport a mustache, which makes me look like some Hungarian folk dancer. There is nothing wrong with being a Hungarian folk dancer, but I can’t dance like that. There is too much jumping, kicking, and sometimes they snap a horse whip that makes a sound similar to a gun going off.

I have never tried that, which is why I still have my vision.

I make so many checks when it comes to vital documents that we’ve never had a problem with boarding a ship. I also complete all the pre-boarding requirements on-line, so when we get inside the terminal, it’s a quick process before we board.

I have it down to a science, sort of. Well, except for the socks, and this time, the toothpaste.

After we boarded the Dream, unpacked for eight nights and got settled in our cabin, Sharon broke the bad news. It couldn’t be my socks, because I just put those up on a shelf. I took 16 pairs for an eight-night cruise.

“I forgot to pack the toothpaste,” said Sharon.

On a dry land vacation, that would not be a problem. Hotels even provide small tubes of complementary toothpastes to people like us. Cruise lines do not, however, but we could buy it at one of the stores on the ship.

The same type of store that did not carry any socks on our previous cruise, had toothpaste -  a medium-sized tube for $9.

“That’s a little high. Could we just not brush our teeth for eight days?” I was just kidding around with Sharon. We had to buy the no-frills toothpaste. They had all kinds of stuff there that people may forget and have to buy.

Let’s just say that I was glad that the toothpaste was all we forgot this time.

Cruise lines know that once the ship leaves port, they have a monopoly. Either buy it at their price or go without. While in the store, I decided it would be a good idea to buy a travel-sized bottle of Listerine mouthwash for $6. Yes, it was highway robbery on the high seas.

Fully equipped with expensive toothpaste and mouthwash, we then set out to enjoy every minute of the cruise. When it was over, we sadly disembarked and returned to the real world with my expensive toothpaste, mouthwash, lots of laundry and many priceless memories.

Do you have a story about going on vacation without something important? Send your experience to john.bulletin@gmail.com, and we’ll print it in the paper. It’s always good to know that we’re not the only people doing that.