Hearing checkup proves harmless ringing ears are just sweet youthful memories

By John Toth

The Bulletin

The older I get, the more trips I find myself making to the doctor. This time, my general practitioner had a question for me.

“When was the last time you had your hearing checked, Mr. Toth?”

“What did you say? Speak louder,” I responded.

He didn’t think it was funny.

“I never had to. I can hear just fine as long as people don’t mumble,” I told him.

He asked me a bunch of questions about my hearing and then came to one I almost forgot to mention.

“Are you experiencing any ringing in either ear?”

Actually, I do. In both ears.

“How long have you had it?” he asked.

“Since I was 16 and went to a Ted Nugent concert,” I replied.

I explained that the ringing has never really bothered me, although it is more noticeable now than it was a few decades ago.

“I’m going to send you to an audiologist,” he said. “It’s about time you get your hearing checked anyway. Actually, it’s way overdue.”

That’s how I found myself sitting in a little padded room — not that kind — listening to different tones played at various volumes.

I discovered that if I sat perfectly still and barely breathed, I could still hear some of the softer tones. I’m not sure whether that counts as cheating on a hearing test, but I wasn’t about to ask.

The higher-pitched tones were easier, so I used those opportunities to catch up on my breathing.

After about a half-hour, I was passed along to a medical doctor who reviewed the results.

“You have a little hearing loss, but nothing unusual for your age and not bad enough for a hearing aid,” she explained.

That was good news.

Then she looked at my file.

“It says here that you have ringing in both ears. How long have you had that?”

So, I told the Ted Nugent story again.

The concert was in an enclosed auditorium with a copper ceiling that seemed to bounce “Cat Scratch Fever” off every available surface and directly into my ears.

I should have taken earplugs with me, but at 16, protecting my hearing wasn’t exactly at the top of my list.

“There were a lot of things when we were young that we didn’t think about,” the doctor commented.

She had a point.

Like lying out in the sun for hours without sunblock. Who knew back then that sunshine was something you needed protection from? We thought a sunburn was simply the first step toward a good tan.

Youthful decisions have a remarkably long shelf life. Mine apparently lasted from a Ted Nugent concert when I was 16 all the way to a doctor’s office decades later.

“You have a case of tinnitus,” the doctor explained. “Apparently, you’re used to it, and it’s not impairing your hearing. If it gets worse, just call us, and we’ll work with you on some solutions.”

And with that, I was free to go.

I’m not trying to be your mentor here, but hear me out: If you’re going to a loud concert, take some earplugs.

You may feel a little less cool at 16, but your 60-, 70- or 80-year-old ears won’t care.

(Write to me at john.bulletin@gmail.com. I want to hear your story. But please type a little louder.)