They say even young people need wills, so we finally got one

By John Toth

The Bulletin

I told some friends that I don’t have a will yet, and they were puzzled.

“What do you mean you don’t have a will? Everybody needs a will. I know people in their 30s and 40s who already have wills.”

It’s not something that I look forward to doing, I explained. “It’s like the last day on a cruise. You still are having fun but you know that when you wake up the next morning, it’s over.”

At least you still wake up, the friend replied. (Was that supposed to make me feel better?)

“That’s why I’ve dreaded it, but I guess it has to be done. I don’t want my kids to have a big mess on their hands.”

With that, I started the process and told all three kids what I am doing. I let them know the specifics and how it’s going to be handled, should we in the distant future - not wake up.

They responded in various ways, but one messaged me back, “Don’t talk like this. I don’t like it.”

I don’t either, even though I want to push the end game away as long as possible.

Sharon and I made a trip to a lawyer friend and started the process.

I started researching how important wills are and read on several legal sites why even young people need a will.

Everyone over the age of 18 needs a will. Even if they don’t own too much, estate planning is vital, the websites warned me. I’m well over 18. I guess it’s better later than never.

“You still need an advanced health care directive and a power of attorney. These documents designate agents to make decisions for you, in the event you become incapacitated,”  I read on one website.

All this is just a reminder that unlike what my kids think, their parents are not immortal. Yes, we like to party and have fun with the family, but all good things must come to an end, and then it’s their turn to sort out what’s left behind, just like it was our turn with our parents.

A will safeguards your loved ones, communicates your wishes and ensures your assets are distributed according to your plans.

In Texas, writing a will is made easy, but I think it’s a good idea to use a lawyer to make sure that there are no loose ends. But anyone can write or type out a will, sign it in the presence of two credible witnesses and have it notarized.

“Well, you shouldn’t be talking this way for another 10 years,” messages one of the kids. “Hungarians are meant to last for a long time if not for self sabotage.”

I had to agree. Both my parents died young from self-inflicted conditions. I have outlived them by nine years and intend to increase that number by a lot. My relatives, who didn’t self-destruct with poor diet, drinking and/or smoking, died in their 90s (and that’s with living through WWII and a revolution). I have every intention to match or beat that.

I didn’t expect this sort  of reaction. I thought the kids would just digest it and go back to their busy daily schedules.

It was kind of nice to see that we still play a role in their lives, even though we often can’t fully fulfill our grand parental duties because we still are pecking away at The Bulletin and are not  ready to retire just yet.

But when we are acting in our official capacity as grandparents, we usually go overboard and make sure that everyone has a great time. That is not going to change.

“Don’t worry, this is just procedural,” I assured the kids. “We’re not going anywhere - except on another cruise.”