Cruise ships’ comedy is good, but Dennis was better

By John Toth

The Bulletin

Doing stand-up comedy is a hard way to make a living in the entertainment business. It takes a special kind of person, someone who can write jokes and deliver them in front of a crowd that may or may not be all that receptive.

When Sharon and I owned Stand-Up Defensive Driving at Brazos Mall, we hired comedians to teach our ticket-dismissal course and show students a good time. We had some comedians who were probably good enough for the big times. They kept the crowd attentive throughout the six-hour course, a much harder task than doing a few minutes on stage.

I saw one of them, Dennis Fowler, at a nightclub doing his act, and fell over laughing. He was the master of his trade. He could have made it to the top. But there is just so much room at the top.

I had a great time observing these talented people and learned a lot from them about how to hold an audience’s attention and deliver a punchline. I also learned how to manage them, which was sometimes like herding cats.

I had to bite my tongue several times not to fire one of them because the students liked her a lot and kept asking me when they made their reservations if she was working that class.

One comedian called me at 7 a.m. to tell me that he could not work the class that day because he stubbed his toe getting out of bed, and it really hurt. I don’t know if that was true, but no matter what I said, he was sticking to his story. I wound up teaching the class. I became certified to teach the course as a safety net, just in case something like this happened. As it turned out, it happened a lot.

Which brings me to the comedians hired by cruise ships. I haven’t seen anyone better than Dennis, the comedian who stuck with us the longest at Stand-Up, which operated for 22 years before being shut down by Covid.

Dennis was a trooper. His club shows were energetic. He didn’t headline when I saw him, but in my opinion, he overshadowed the headliner. He was a hard worker and dependable, and the students liked him a lot.

I suggested to him a couple of years ago that he should send an audition video to Carnival or Royal Caribbean and do his act on the ships, but I never heard back. I’m guessing that he has retired from the comedy scene.

On our latest cruise, a comedian about Dennis’ age came out on stage and was burning it up - laughs everywhere. He hit all the high notes for a while - until the hecklers showed up.

They walked in late, sat in the front row and heckled him out of his routine.

“I think you should leave,” he said to them. “I’ll pay you $100 if you leave right now.”

It went downhill from there. He struggled to the end of his 30-minute set, even after the heckler left. Dennis would have made the most of the heckling, riding it all the way to the end.

Another comedian we saw complained right away that he was made to do a clean matinee show and could not use his best material. We made an exception and went to his adults-only show a few nights later. He was not funny there, either.

Another comedian picked on a family for so long that they finally got up and left. Dennis picked on the audience also. That’s what comedians do. But he knew when to stop and move on. This guy was relentless.

When someone walks in late, the standard routine often is that the comedian stops, looks at them and then says something like: “I’m so glad you could make it. Is there anything I can get for you - like a watch?” Then you go back to your prepared routine.

I can’t tell you how many times I used those lines at Stand-Up when someone came in a few minutes late. It worked every time.

A female comedian on a cruise made an entire show about her failed personal life. She was actually very funny. We went up to talk to her after the show, and she was really nice. Many comedians on ships don’t make themselves available after shows. They also tend to hang out too long at the crew bar, where the drinks are $2-3.

Dennis, if you are reading this, wherever you are, I hope you made it to the cruise ship circuit and are always leaving them laughing and wanting more. If not, I hope you are enjoying your retirement. We had a lot of fun at Stand-Up.