How hot is it?
It’s so hot, I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with pot holders.
That’s hot, but rather than joining the complaining masses, I am here to help you see some of the positives of the Texas Gulf Coast summer heat.
Full transparency first, though. I hate the cold. I grew up with cold winters in poorly heated apartments. I hate being cold now. I’ll pick heat over cold anytime.
Before we go any further, there are dangers linked to extreme cold and extreme heat. We need to protect ourselves from both, but if I were given a choice of which season I would want to live in most of the year, I would choose summer.
Growing up in Central Europe until I was 11, I went through more cold months than hot ones. We only had about three months of summer weather until it was time for sweaters and jackets again.
I had enough of that. Once I settled into my new life and - finally - got central heat, I started thinking that cold weather is for the birds.
How hot is it?
It’s so hot that you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
When I landed in Bay City to work at my first journalism job in 1979, I went through two major storms in the summer and got my first taste of the Texas summer heat. It’s not for everyone - especially for people who don’t like heat.
Heat and humidity and I got along almost instantly. I sat on my porch at Christmas and soaked up the sun and warmth. That’s when I decided to stay. This weather was almost exactly what I had been wishing for when I was younger, especially when I was freezing next to a coal-burning stove, waiting for it to start warming up.
I like the seasons in Texas - summer and almost summer.
How hot is it?
It’s so hot that I bought a loaf of bread, and before I got home, it was toast!
If you think this year is hot - which it is - think back to 2011, when it seemed like the Earth was baking, just like now. I know that climate change is being blamed now, which was not the case in 2011. We just blamed the heat for the hot weather.
I went back to Central Europe that year, thinking that I could escape the Texas heatwave for a couple of weeks, only to find out that it was hot in Europe. The hotel rooms were air-conditioned, except at one in Vienna, where only the hallways had A/C.
I would have put A/C in the rooms and left the hallways to nature, since the guests sleep in the rooms, not in hallways. However, each room came with a fan, so that helped push the hot air around some.
How hot is it?
It's so hot that I saw a cop chasing a thief, and they were both walking.
That same year I got temporary relief from the heat on a trip to Colorado, where the nights were predictably cool (I would say chilly,) and the days still warm.
Then I drove up Pike’s Peak and straight into a snow storm. I walked to the coffee shop in ankle- to knee-deep snow. I ate doughnuts and drank coffee or hot chocolate while getting into conversations with people around us. It was wonderful, until I had to leave the heated coffee shop and get back to the car. I had two hours of winter. That was enough.
How hot is it?
It's so hot that I saw two trees fighting over a dog!
That’s hot, like January in the Caribbean. That’s where I hope to be again like last year, taking a break from the coldest month of the year along the Gulf Coast. I know that some of you like to sleep in 65 degrees, but that’s not for me.
Wait a minute. Who turned the thermostat to 76? It’s freezing here.
Like Louis Armstrong sang: “ Summertime, And the livin' is easy… .” That’s what I’m saying.
It’s summer, and it’s hot. The beach water is warm, and it’s going to stay like this into October.
How hot is it?
It’s so hot that the cows are producing evaporated milk.